Saturday Blither

It's been a long week, so I thought I'd just update and throw out some other silly stuff since it's Saturday.

Craig's mom was transferred back to Hays, Kansas to the heart unit again. This time she has fluid buildup in her lungs and around her heart that's making breathing difficult. Hopefully, she'll improve and be able to go home again.

I made my next stop on the Road to Wellsville Thursday and had my mammogram. I just love those! I can't believe they haven't invented any new technology (i.e. equipment) for THAT testing. The equipment is now digital, but it's still the melon juicer/smasher. If they used that same machine on guys' testicles once a year, I bet there'd be a new painless invention pronto. If I remember right, there was something being touted in 1998 that was supposed to win approval in 9 or 10 years. Uh -- where IS it!!! After reading up on digital mammography, I have no doubt that I'll be called back for my encore performance within the next two weeks. That procedure's never complete until they've managed to scare the absolute crap out of me. Next stop after that -- the dreaded colonoscopy. I haven't scheduled it yet, but at least with that procedure, the results are same day! The victim wakes up and the doctor tells them the hopefully good news. Then the patient asks over and over for the next six hours at least once every fifteen minutes if the doctor said what the results were. (Craig had his last year, so now he can suffer through babysitting me!)

Here's a weird news headline. Did anyone miss Igor Panarin's (some guy in the Russian Foreign Ministry) predictions that the U.S. has a 45 to 55% chance of disintegrating by 2010? I love how he nails the percentage on his prediction. He says the U.S. will break up into regions much like the former Soviet Union, and Russia will acquire Alaska. Just think -- Sarah Palin might be able to see an ACTUAL Russia(n) from her house!

Without waiting for a drawn out series, here's the rest of my Resolutions for 2009! I decided I didn't have the energy to make a big to-do over each one, and I'm guessing most people don't give a rat's rear about my resolutions anyway!

1. (What the heck WAS number one? I can't remember now. Tee hee.)

2. Go someplace this year we've never been before! It doesn't have to be exotic, just NEW! Craig and I are both creatures of habit and have fixated on Kauai, Isla Mujeres, and other repeat destinations, but it's time to seize the day before something seizes us!

3. Start a Bucket List and try to scratch off one in 2009! Greek Islands, Machu Picchu, jump out of a plane (JUST KIDDING!) . . . . Make that list of dreams! By the way, a friend of mine who was afraid to drive over the bridge into Seattle strapped herself to a big Russian man on her 50th birthday and jumped out of a small plane. That amazed me! I asked her if it helped her overcome fears, or if she had any deep revelations from the event. I think her response was NO! But I admire her guts tremendously!

4. Get completely caught up on all medical prevention and take steps to improve health! There's nothing that destroys those retirement dreams more than failing health!

5. Do more hiking. We have the equipment (legs) and there are so many places to discover in Arizona! In fact, I have one close hike planned for the near future.

I DO remember Number One -- watch more junk television. And I'm really doing quite wonderfully with that! I watched The Bachelor on my laptop yesterday afternoon (Craig said ABSOLUTELY NOT when I tried to switch from the Fiesta Bowl to that on Monday night). I'm betting the guy from Kirkland (sorry, but he wouldn't ring my bell!) will think with his #### and choose some young bimbo who manages to break up with him about one month after the 'reveal'. She'll move on to the California lifestyle made possible by her time on the show fawning over the poor clueless bachelor. I also managed to take in some reruns of Orange County Housewives during the daytime this week. Craig calls them 'sluts on boats'. :)

I need to close all this Saturday blither with a joke. Here's a teaser from Will Ferrell's upcoming George W. Bush Farewell.