Happy Thanksgiving!

A friend e-mailed this little Thanksgiving ditty to me yesterday and I thought I'd share. I think maybe I should view the ditty as an allegory and watch what I eat over the holidays! Ha!

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,

He sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And told me there was something I had to know.

His look and tone I will always remember
When he told me the horrors of . . . Black November!

"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of three.

And soon you'll be thick, where you once were thin,
With a big rubbery thing under your chin.

And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In will burst the farmer's wife and hack off your head!

She'll pluck all your feathers till you're bald and pink,
Scoop out your innards and leave you lying in the sink.

And then comes the worst part -- and I'm not bluffing,
She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing!"

The rest of the words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat.

I decided right then to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low to remain overlooked.

I started a new diet of nuts and granola,
High roughage salads, fruit, and diet cola.

As the rest ate pastries, chocolates, and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes.

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed.

Twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and chewed their way closer to death.

Sure enough, Black November rolled around,
I was the lone turkey left in the entire compound.

So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap,
I haven't a worry, I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
Smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming!"

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!