Friday, April 1, 2011

They Shoot Bugs, Don't They?

Don't ask me how and why, but this morning, the girl from the burbs ended up in back of a Church's Fried Chicken in a nasty North Phoenix parking lot watching three homeys scoring their drugs, two crack ho's hooking up, a drunk homeless guy with shopping cart weaving into the liquor store, and minutes later, two police cruisers and a fire truck screeching into the parking lot. The druggies and ho's quickly scampered from the scene as the emergency vehicles rolled up. And no, I didn't get out of the car to looky loo at what was going on! I have no clue what went down. I rolled up the windows and locked the doors, cussing Craig for leaving me to wait in such a shitty area. And NO, he wasn't trying to score any of the above, but simply dropping off his Pilot for repair.

Now I know why Phoenix received the designation the other day as one of the most miserable places in the United States! The local news was aghast this last week and interviewed residents all over the metro area to prove the pundits wrong. Me, myself, and I were very happy to hop back in the VW Bug and speed back to Pleasantville, but not before taking a little sidetrip. More later on the side excursion, but I think I need to pack some bad 'tude for the return trip tomorrow afternoon to pick up the car.

Maybe one of these plates mounted on the front of the silver Bug.

And one of these on both arms?

Maybe a gold grill for the front teeth and some numchucks hanging over the rear view mirror. Definitely ditch the flower in the Bug vase!

Craig owes me big time! I guess I need to get out more often, but are you kidding me? And neighbors worry about me going to Isla Mujeres! HA!


Winter Fire said...

Holy cow! Have you stumbled into a Janet Evanovich novel? I'm hoping they won't shoot your bug. Stay safe (and extract payment from Craig).


Sue said...

Years ago I found myself driving through some seedy areas in Chicago and Newark. I didn't intend to go there, and couldn't wait to get safely out. And a walking trip in downtown Atlanta, all the Peach areas, found me on the wrong side of a corner. I have never felt that kind of scared here and hope it never happens.

Anonymous said...

I think next time you should send Craig to do his errands by himself!

There are certain areas here that make me a little nervous driving through - quick ways to make it home from downtown. Same thing in even teeny tiny Washington, NC - you never can tell!


drgeo said...

Yo Beck, sup? You hang in the Toe, you pick up the lingo--word?

ABC news reports Arizona is considering a new "fat tax". Does this mean I will need to pay a fee each time I make your lemon cake recipe? It is understandable AZ desires such a tax, to rid themselves of the hoards of fatties clogging the Phoenix boulevards. I suspect they will trap them by locking the doors at Walmart and not letting anyone out until they pay up. First there was an exodus of Mexicans from Arizona, and now likely a stampede of extra large folks. Gosh, soon Arizona will be a Utopia filled with slinky fashion models!

Life's a Beach! said...

Here's the postscript. We noticed about 10:00 p.m. last night that there was an empty police cruiser running in front of our driveway. So Craig went out to investigate. The nut who lives on the other side of the park from us had called in a complaint claiming prowlers were trying to get over the wall into the yard next to us. The prowlers were jr. high girls playing hide and seek here in Dangerville. The neighbor who phoned it in lurks around with his dog trying to find problems to report. I guess he couldn't tell they were jr. high girls? Get a life!

drgeo, Arizona is insane. Some Republicans finally stood up to this Russell Pearce nut and his new law that would retroactively take citizenship away from Mexicans born here in the U.S. to illegal parents. A few finally got the guts to stand up to the foaming at the mouth nut and now they're getting death threats.

I try to ignore politics here, otherwise I'd go insane. At the post office the other day, an old man in front of me couldn't figure out where the stamps dispensed from the machine. He yelled, "God damned Obama. It's his fault." Alrighty there. I said it before, but it's the politics of hate in this state. I live here, but I don't know if I'll ever feel like I'm 'from' here.

drgeo said...

Yes, I feel the same way about Texas.

Hope your Pilot is tip top again.

Babs said...

Sounds like its time to move? We'll open our arms to you here in San Miguel...where the sound of a siren means another parade is winding through the centro streets. And loud sounds of fireworks mean they are beseeching the 6AM

Life's a Beach! said...

Babs, we'd love to visit San Miguel! It's on our short list now that Craig's retired!

Katalina said...

Love the Janet Evanovich comment! Seriously, I think the same thing often. If I had a dollar for every time some gringo asked me if I was scared living here! Great posts!