Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A Little Birdie

Sometimes I feel like I have a little birdie sitting on my shoulder. My own guardian angel. Specifically, a little voice from someone very close to me who died last year.

I first heard that little birdie during Hurricane Ida on Isla in November. I was having a really tough time in that room at the Rocamar that dark and stormy night. What the hell was I thinking! Why didn't I get out of here while I had the chance? I must be nuts! The rain, wind, and sea were frightening as the storm headed through the Yucatan Channel, not to mention my location was three floors directly above the seawall! I was also the only guest left in the hotel. With no phone, television, or internet to keep me posted on what was happening, I was more than scared!

Anyway, around 3 a.m. in the middle of a sleepless night, that familiar voice popped into my head and said, "Beck, what have you gotten yourself into now!" The voice was accompanied by that reassuring little laugh that told me everything was going to be fine. She always had a way of calming me anytime I got into a mess. Her motto was sleep on it and it'll be better in the morning. At that point, I decided to emulate her and just go to sleep. I'd either wash away into the sea, or come out totally unscathed, so I might as well get some shut eye! I'd find out in the morning!

This last Friday morning when I was getting ready for work, I discovered the center diamond of a ring she'd given me several years before she died was missing. The keepsake was special because it was not only from her, but also a connection to my cousin who died in 2006. We shared the bond of having the same birthday and that's why she wanted me to have it. Needless to say, I was quite upset. I figured the setting had probably fallen out at work and finding it would be absolutely impossible. I searched all round my desk and computer Friday morning at work and found nothing. I reported it to the site manager, but came to the conclusion that literally it could have fallen out anywhere between work and home!

Around noon, my guardian angel piped up -- that little birdie again! Search your purse. Oh my gosh! Why didn't I think of that! I made sure to keep my purse closed and upright for the rest of the day, and immediately started systematically dumping and searching it the minute I walked in the door at home. Less than five minutes later, I found it!

So, now I'm wondering if I'm nuts? Craig asked me Friday night how I ever thought to look through my purse and I had to confess my encounters with the voice. Surprisingly, he took it in stride and didn't seem too astounded.

Soooooo . . . whether the voice is an inhabitant of my imagination, or a voice from beyond . . . I'm lucky to have it! : )


Jamqueen said...

Wonderful story! My sister & I have conversations often--at least in my head!

Jane said...

I think we all have that voice, but as we grow up many stop listening. Some may be afraid of their inner voice, and some may have been told, "If you tell anyone that, they'll think you're crazy." I've grown to be very thankful for my inner voice, gentle and good, reveals what I need to know, sometimes when I'm awake and sometimes in my dreams.

Bennie said...

Hey Beck - I had no idea you were the only person in the place through the Hurricane. But I'm with you you might as well have got some shut eye.

Great story.

Life's a Beach! said...

Bennie, there's a funny story. I think the desk clerk didn't realize I was still there until he saw me return that evening around 9:00 p.m. It was something like -- Mrs. McHugh, you are still here?!!!

Ann and Jane, glad to know others have conversations too!