St. Joseph in a Bag

On Wednesday our realtor, who lives right across the street, came over with a gift for us.  We'd been with her earlier in the afternoon looking at two short sales in our neighborhood just for the hell of it.  I think she wanted us to see the difference between our house and those two eyesores because I'd been obsessing about the effect those listings could have on ours. 

I actually took my phone with me and fully intended to take a few photos for the blog because they truly are train wrecks, but I got so freaked out by what I saw that I never took the phone out of my pocket.  We were too busy obsessing about hand sanitizer.

I nicknamed the first home Paint It Black.  The owners really like black paint!  Black walls, petrified lizards caught between the screens and windows, carpets that hadn't been vacuumed since they were installed, bugs, bugs, bugs, filthy bathrooms and toilets -- oh God NEVER MIND!  Paint It Black had a do-it-yourself mother-in-law's apartment remodel completed without the appropriate permits that will probably block any buyer from getting a bank loan on the house.  The owner had also turned the former 3-car garage into a man cave.  And yes, once again, the walls were black.  The do-it-yourself pebble tec pool has been empty for months in the 110 degree heat (big no no!), and the homeowner-built sunken patio/firepit was crumbling.  Some of the closet doors in the house had big lower sections cut out of them.  I'm guessing those were cat bedrooms?  At least the house smelled like it?  The people originally paid $493,000 for it and it would sell for almost that now if they hadn't trashed it.  The things people can do to screw up a house!

The other short sale was just weird, but nothing $500 worth of paint and a lot of elbow grease wouldn't cure.  I guess when the dream dies, people just want to walk away and forget about getting it sold. 

Back to the gift.  It was St. Joseph in a bag!  I'm sure you've heard the stories about people burying this guy in the downward dog position two inches under next to the real estate sign.  Somehow, I thought it would be a huge statue, but he's actually religious action figure size. What the heck!  I'm not Catholic or religious for that matter, but we'd try anything at this point.  We decided to have a go at it after dark when the temperature dropped below 112.

Shortly before Craig threw steaks on the grill that evening, our agent called and said a buyer wanted to see our house in 20 minutes.  It would be her third viewing.  When the call comes, we take it.  We threw dinner back in the fridge and did the mad dash, vacuuming our way out of the house.  Evidently, St. Joseph's mere presence in our house could be the lucky charm!

A little after dark, Craig buried him by the real estate sign.  Twenty-four hours later -- liftoff!  Signed contract.

Tomorrow's inspection day.  Everyone assume the fingers and toes crossed position again please!

If everything goes well, we should be down the road by mid-July.  We'll rent for a few weeks in our new neighborhood while we wait for the new house to be completed. We'll call it our summer stay-cation!

Plop plop fizz fizz . . .